“The people walking in darkness have seen a great light,” Isaiah tells us in our Advent reading as we meditate on today’s #AdventWord, Walk. Darkness is good for a lot of things - resting, growing, stillness - but it is TERRIBLE for walking.
When you’re running or hiking or walking, darkness is scary. It means uncertainty. It’s scary not to see the way in front of us. It’s scary to not know if we’re on the right path, or even going in the right general direction.
In our lives, the darkness of unknowing can be so heavy that pushing forward is like running in a dream - when our limbs are impossibly heavy, and the air is as thick as water.
So many of us are coming in to Christmas carrying heavy burdens. Holidays intensify grief, loneliness, and uncertainty. We have not recovered spiritually or physically from the pandemic, but everyone says we should have. Holidays can be full of land mines for queer kids. Grief is more raw this time of year. Things hurt. We’re tired. We aren’t sure if we’re walking in the right direction. One step at a time takes all the courage we have - and then a little more we’re scared we *don’t* have.
This verse from Isaiah somehow reminds me of Frodo - “I will take the Ring to Mordor, though I do not know the way.”
Nothing in my life is as dramatically important as Frodo’s quest (thank goodness). But his big scary task just came down to - walking forward, when he didn’t know the way. Walking forward in the uncertainty, even though it was scary and overwhelming.
Walking is a lot sometimes.
Walking is also enough.
To everyone who’s taking this season one step at a time in the dark -
Blessed are you, bravely doing small impossible things in the dark, when you’re not even sure anyone can see.
Blessed are you who aren’t sure if you believe a light is coming, but are still walking anyway.
And blessed are you who have given up and are sitting weeping on the path, in the dark,
because Advent is not a story about us reaching God with our bravery, but God coming to us in Her compassion - whether we were brave or not. This great light of Grace breaks into our uncertainty and fear, whether we’re walking towards it or not.
Amen.
I greatly needed to read somethink like this today. Thank you for your work, for it is always kind.
This reminds me of the start of the Inferno
"Nel mezzo del cammin di nostra vita
mi ritrovai per una selva oscura,
ché la diritta via era smarrita."
(Midway upon the journey of our life
I found myself within a forest dark,
For the straightforward pathway had been lost)
May we all find our Samwise Gamgees, our Virgils and our Beatrices.